Some Times Green ain't Easy

Last spring when I took an inside job I was looking forward to doing some of my commuting via bicycle or mass transit.

I live in the busy North West suburbs and work in one of the South West suburbs. The second busiest freeway route is the one that connects the two parts of the metro. So you think that would make it easy to find bike or bus routes, right?

Guess again. I found out you could not get there from here, unless you drove you doubled your distance and at least tripled your time.

The Metropolitan Transit District seems to think everything needs to run through down town, even if you do not want to. All the bus routes, the new light rail and even the bike trails are oriented to running through down town. I really do not want to ride busy streets in the Ghetto to get to work which is what MTD is trying get me to do....or make me take a 2.5 hour bus ride with 3 changes to replace a 25 minute commute....uh uh...NO WAY

Thank goodness there is hope on the horizon. Last October a non profit site, Cyclopath, went on line and its goal is to find decent bike routes around the metro. I now have a 23 mile route to work that keeps me on fairly safe streets and out of bad neighborhoods.

Sadly, it came to late to be of help this year. Today the high was -3F. We have some tough local bike commuters but I am not THAT tough, so I am thinking spring thoughts.

Ride On!

Gloom and Doom?

I just don't know. No question the situation is ugly.

I have been on the new job for 8 months now. I really enjoy what I am doing and I know I am making a significant contribution. In a $2 MM company I am the only person that does what I do. We just finished a very solid quarter. So you think everything would be great?

Wrong. I work within another group that has a "downstream" function from what I do. There are 6 of them and last Friday 2 of them were laid off. The company has taken the attitude they need to restructure before the numbers go bad.

Great proactive thinking, right?

I just don't know. No question the situation is ugly.

By the time any one notices we are in a recession, we are half way through it. Can it get THAT bad?

I just don't know. No question the situation is ugly.

*a small footnote of history, this iconic picture was taken about 10 miles from where I grew up

All Jammed Up

Having your daughter getting married creates all sorts of unforseen tasks. On the surface it would all seem fairly simple. Pick a church, host a reception and buy something appropriate to wear.

Not hardly.

Knowing our eldest daughter, I knew that many things would be "assigned" elsewhere and that would entail covering many details. Even knowing that, in hindsight I was CLUELESS.

#2 daughter, the OH and I have spent the last 3 weekends making jars of jams as favors for the guests. Certainly not our idea but some how we did it. This is just one of the many things being handed off to us.

Do I sound a bit stressed? Between the new job and the impending nuptials we are non stop. We have little time for riding, reading, travel or even quiet contemplation. Constantly getting new things that HAVE to be done is not helping.

I love it

Distorted Reflections

Two weeks ago a family was visiting a local amusement when their 12 year old daughter was sexually groped by an adult male in the parking lot as they were leaving the park. The father took exception to the behavior and began defending his daughter from the man. The groper got away and called several friends who were in the park and a total of 6 of them ranging from their late teens to early 20's proceeded to beat the man. This continued until the police and park security arrived. The father was down, unconscious and still being kicked when the police and park security finally arrived.

Adding to this mess, the family was white and the perpetrators were black.

Last week the Star Tribune published a piece claiming the root of the incident could be found in the social values common to Rap music. The author opined that the sexually denigrating and violent ego centrism that permeates Rap music has found its way to mainstream America and is being reflected in violent behavior like the beating. Is society reflecting the music? Is the music reflecting society?

Which is the reflection and which is the image? Are they distorting each other?

Out of the Dark

Where have I been? Why did I quit writing? What happened?

I am still not sure.

I do know that last fall work became incredibly frustrating. I could see what needed doing and how to do it but was not allowed to make it happen. Why that was I can only speculate. I think it had nothing to with my gender but was more tied to the apathy of the company owners. Frustration led to depression, depression led to weight gain, a new job search led to more frustration, more depression and more weight gain. It was a self sustaining cycle.

The OH finally kicked me out of the cycle. There is never an acceptable time for that kind of behaviour and with our eldest's nuptials coming up, this was an especially unacceptable time for it. The kick was brutal but effective. I quit my job. I landed new work in an engineering function. The new job is a minor pay cut but for the first time in 6 years I look forward to going work every day. I am finally doing what I went to school 30 years ago to do, engineering.

As you can see from the picture, I have put on weight since the last profile picture was taken. The good news is it is -15 lbs from my peak last winter. I have another 15 to go before the wedding. I think I can make it *S*

Anyway, I am back. I really appreciate the notes I recieved from those concerned with my welfare. Thank You

Familiarity and Contempt

I have not been posting the last few weeks. It largely has to do with time spent hanging out on customer lines, airports and watching the odometer in my car pass 100,000 miles. One thing I have decided, the TSA is a JOKE. Since its inception, I do not think I have seen anything less than an orange alert. Are we always at high risk of terrorist attacks? Has the TSA been bagging the boys right and left trying to sneak on planes with matches hanging out of their tennis shoes?

I do not mean to sound complacent. I just wonder how much the TSA has really done for us? As I recall, if security procedures that were in place on 9/11 had been followed, then it is unlikely there would have been the disaster there was. I also think the 84 of Flight 93 put a bigger stop in flight terrorism than TSA ever will.

I just worry when we begin counting on bureaucrats for our safety.

Name wise, "Homeland Security" sounds reminiscent of of a "Committe for State Security"

Color my paranoia "Orange"

Work

I do not talk much about what I do for income these days and I will not get into specifics here. However, there are days when I wonder if I am !@$#@# nuts. The last few weeks I have felt a bit like the character in the Strange Brew cartoon.






I then try to remind myself that Alice from Dilbert should become the role model for all females working in technical jobs. I respect her outlook *L*

A Good Question

As a result of my last post, Sage asked the following question;

"Did you work in the nuclear industry? Do you think nuclear really cost effective, if it is done both safely and all cost are accounted for?"

Sage is one of those bloggers that seems very straight forward but whether he intends it so or not, I often find additional layers to his posts. I originally answered his question but in hind sight I feel it needs more elaboration, especially as regards my background and motivations.

Did I work in the Nuclear industry?

No, I worked in the petroleum industry for a number of years. I know that industry all too well and fully understand the disaster we are heading towards with depleting reserves. It is insane for us to be using such an amazing raw material for fuel. Adding to foolishness is the potential impact on our environment now that we have reopened the carbon loop. The environmental problems from the Exxon Valdez grounding and the Union Alpha blow out are minor in comparison.

I personally became acquainted with the power industry through my involvement with the Omar Hill project for the Kern River Cogeneration company.

I also know a number of engineers who worked on power plant design in the 70's and 80's for SCE, PG&E, Fluor and Babcock. All of them were concerned with the long term safety issues related to the then current breed of light water reactors. Failure mode in those plants was "ON" which was what created the problems at Chernobyl and TMI. During one of the energy crises of the 70's, the DOE initiated a project to perfect Breeder reactor technology. Scale up tests of breeder technology has proven the technology to be more efficient, safer and generate less waste than current designs in service. The safest designs are a "fail off" mode and will shut down if there is an incident. I view the main stumbling block to breeders being political, not engineering.

"Do you think Nuclear really cost effective if done both safely and all costs are accounted for?"

Yes

The question though has several facets. As currently accounted for, if Nuclear has a cost of $1.00, the same amount of energy from coal is about $1.33. Oil and Gas are significantly higher still. Green sources such as Solar and Wind are even higher still. Hydroelectric is limited in its availability so I have excluded it from discussion.

Costs though are never completely accounted for. Nuclear still has the waste disposal issue. Coal and other fossil fuels have a HUGE pollution cost that will not become completely clear for several decades yet. Recent accidents in the coal industry prove that it is still not as safe as one would hope.

Finally, on the topic of radioactive release I think it is worth while to consider how much radiation the typical coal plant releases in the environment every year. It is much more than is generally recognized and is ignored because of its dilution among the rest of the exhaust.

Sage, thanks for the great question.
*S*

That "N" word again

I last wrote on this topic in July of last year.

NRG today applied for the first US nuclear reactors to be built in several decades. It is expected that 6 more will be applied for in the coming months.

It appears that for the first time in decades, we may be seeing the first glimmer of sense in US energy and environmental policy. Considering the total lack of discussion on the topic in political forums, I doubt it though.

Now if they will just get away from those !@#$ Light water reactors.....

Chris, Part III

As promised, this is the last chapter in Chris' tale and my part of it. It is also the hardest for me.

Roll forward 5 years to 1980. I am living in one of the Southern California beach communities. Single, somewhat carefree and enjoying my work. Life was very good and beyond mortgages, motorcycles, surfing and dating, very uncomplicated.

One Sunday I was returning from a great ride on the Ortega Hwy and decided to stop at the Baskin Robbins around the corner from where I lived. In line behind me was Chris. She had seen me walk in the store and followed me in (I am not hard to spot). I had not seen her since I graduated and the news I had of her was a bit sparse since of the 3 room mates, Liz was the only one that semi regularly communicated with Chris.

We chatted over a couple of scoops of ice cream and caught up. She had squeaked out with her degree in Communications and was working minimum wage jobs looking for something "in her line". She had been living with her boyfriend for about a year in the same community I did and had become completely estranged from her Mother. She seemed in good spirits and appeared to be moving forward. We swapped information and then I went on my way.

2 weeks later she called. She had a fight with BF. It got physical etc and she asked if she could stay with me that night. I agreed. 3 days later she had reconciled with her BF and was back with him. During that time I came to understand that Chris had not resolved any of her problems. She was still a "downer" to be around.

For me, this was a very good time in my life. I was enjoying work and play. The OH and I were becoming an item. I was happy.

Over the course of the next 6 months I continued to hear from Chris. I started blowing her off or avoiding her entirely. At various points I told her "I am not your Mother", "Just deal with it" and some other witty advice. I had helped fix her problems once before. I had no desire, interest or energy to share her problems again. There was silence for about a month. I was actually starting to worry, but did not want to call. Then her loser BF called.

Chris had killed herself.

The BF held me responsible. His position was that Chris had been looking to me for help and I had refused it. Liz and I attended the funeral. It was not much of one and I would be surprised if 20 people were in attendance. Notable in their absence was her Mother and her two youngest siblings that still lived with her.

I hope the reasons this has been difficult to write are becoming apparent. I do not accept the loser BF's condemnation, but I do have to look at my part in this. Am I to any degree responsible for Chris' death? If I had tried, could I have saved her from herself? How responsible am I or anyone for problems that wash up on our door steps? Is responsibility universal? Could I have made a difference?

Would she have been a boat anchor and dragged me down with her?

26 years laters these questions still haunt me and I am no closer to being able to answer them.

Thank you for your patience in reading this. It is a story I needed to tell for a long time.

Chris, part II

During the intersession before spring semester I began to appreciate some of the Demons that were driving Chris. "Promiscuous" did not begin to describe her behavior. Perhaps I was jealous since I wasn't getting "any"? Chris was certainly getting no emotional reward from her trysts. She was running with lots of losers and failed to recognize that 1 of her paramours was actually a pretty decent guy. She treated him worse than the mutts.

In hind sight, I think it was Chris modeling her mothers behavior. Monkey see, Monkey do, rather than doing what her mother told her. Chris certainly was not a happy individual. Being on the edge of flunking out made it worse. Add in she had no strong peers or role models and I expect you can see where this is going.

The other two roomies, Cathy, Liz and I ended up with a project for spring semester, salvaging Chris.

I resented the responsibility. I was in my final semester, I should have been cruising towards graduation and looking for work. Instead I ended up tutoring Chris in Math and Astronomy while Cathy and Liz took on Psych, English, and History. We figured she could handle Volleyball on her own. Between the 3 of us, we were able to keep her on a short leash with her focused on school and work. I will confess to enjoying telling the mutts to "get lost" and "do I have to throw you over the balcony to get you to leave?" I did say a few cruder things too. That was one of the times when being an amazon was FUN.

She finished the semester with an OK average of 2.9 and was off academic probation. When I moved at semesters end I did not expect or desire to see or hear from her again.

I was wrong

Next; the end of the story

Chris, Part 1

For reasons I do not completely understand, I have been struggling to write this particular story for a few weeks. I am still not sure it clearly states the story and my feelings about it.

Chris was a roommate I inherited my Senior year in College. She was a "friend" of one of our roomies from the previous year. Our roomie had decided to live with her BF that year instead of us. He was really cute and good to her, so it was hard to take exception with her ditching us. Our ex-roomie had committed to the lease and so arranged her replacement in the form of "Chris".

Chris (not Chrissie or Christy) was an incoming freshman and this was apparently her first foray from home. As the only senior and the only person over 21 in the apartment with 2 juniors and a freshman, I was automatically promoted to "Grandma" and beer runner. What a joy that all turned out to be.

At first Chris seemed pleasant enough. She was fairly reserved, picked up after herself and seemed to stay out of everyone elses stuff....or at least mine anyway which was mostly jeans and would have have fit her like socks on a rooster.

Then she started bringing home strays.

I am not talking about stray dogs and cats. I am talking about stray guys. This was 1975 and most of the dogs and cats I knew had better grooming habits than some of these guys. Most were college students. All of them would sooner or later (mostly sooner) spend the night. Apartment walls are cheap and when you work and study at late hours while attending morning classes, the 3 AM frolics get old real fast. By mid October I was homicidal. My other 2 roomies were merely peeved and kept telling me to "chill". Easy for them to say, they did not keep the hours I had to. Being regularly asked to make "Booze Runs" did not help. By November, all of us were looking up the definition of "justifiable homicide".

She survived Thanksgiving and we made it to the 6 week intersession at Christmas without committing any crimes of violence. During the intersession, it was just Chris and me since our roomies went home for the break. Thankfully, so did most of the strays. I finally began to learn some things about her. She is the eldest of 5 children. Her father suicided when she was 5. One of her sisters shares the same father, the other 3 siblings all have different fathers. Her mother never finished High School. Their extended family was all in Missouri. To her knowledge, she was the only member of her family to ever attend College.

As I learned these things, my annoyance at her behavior remained unabated. I did however, find myself experiencing some of her angst and it was not pleasant. I felt small.

At the end of intersession all the grades were posted and Chris found herself on academic probation and life got harder,,,,,,,,and easier.

next post....the rest of the story

Stepping Up

I am still struggling with the same post I have been working on for the past few weeks. In the interim the following story has achieved some local note and I thought it worth telling.

For the last week or so our neighborhood has been agog as Ty Pennington and the crew of "Extreme Makeover, Home Edition" has descended on it. As usual, they have created a lot of local press for the show with Senators, Congressman and a Governor all showing up to put their face to the process. Although the show picks worthy recipients and its likely done with great intentions, Ty and the shows producers receive a reward in money and adulation. They do not need mine.

This story is about people who stepped up to a problem with no mind to the personal cost.

Vicki and Erik Swenson are teachers at Hopkins High School. Both are doing worth while work but will never get rich doing it. Last year the justice system failed Vicki's sister Teri Lee and she was brutally slain by a stalker. The Swenson's stepped up and took in her 4 children. Add that to the child they already had and the twins they were expecting at the time and you can see where things might be a bit strained around the Swenson household. Vicki has also become something of a local spokesperson for Victims Rights

"Extreme Makeover" stepping in is a great story. To me the great story is the Swenson's. People who step up to a problem knowing it will be hard make me humble.

BTW, they put up the new house in 99 hours. WOW

Justice Served

The post I have been working on for the last few days is coming hard so I am going to shift a bit and point up something I saw in the Star Tribune today.

In 1966, Burglar William Barnes shot Rookie Policeman Walter Barclay. Barclay was severely injured and spent the rest of his life as a paraplegic. Barnes was arrested, convicted and served a prison sentence for the crime.

Barclay recently died and the Bucks County, Pennsylvania coroner ruled his death "resulted from injuries incurred in the shooting". The District Attorney is considering filing murder charges against Barnes.

Is this right? There is no question that Barnes actions were reprehensible. Barnes was also tried, convicted and served a sentence for the original crime. Is 40 years too long to be considered proximate to Barclays death? Is it right for the state to have 2 shots at Barnes for the same crime? How will justice be served here?

This one bothers me.

Made In China

We did it to ourselves.

We have adopted the Wal-Mart mentality and chased low prices to its ultimate end. We are now enjoying the results with random bouts of poisonous toys, dangerous food additives, fake drugs and faulty tires.

The press is at least 6 years late getting to this story, but now that they are many retailers are being more proactive with product testing and third party certifications. The Chinese have responded by shooting certain officials. All are guilty of the greatest sin in Chinese business, they were caught.

Shame on the Chinese, more importantly SHAME ON US. In the channel from manufacturer to retailer, the majority of the profit generated on any given product is at the retailers. All of their purchase contracts express the requirements for products that are in compliance with US law. Until now though, they were seldom checked. The retailers have avoided looking for many reasons. The end result though has been the carryover of flakey Chinese business practices to our shores. The retailers have all pointed to the Chinese for making substandard product. If the retailers had actually LOOKED at what they were selling maybe we would not be at this point. Chinese manufacturers of course can not be held responsible in this country. So who is?

I think it is time that retailers were held primarily responsible for the dangerous imports they put on their shelves when the manufacturers are out of reach.

Hind Sight

I guess I should not be surprised at how much the national and local news has been dominated by the 35W bridge collapse last week.

Having lived in Minnesota for 20 years I am certainly not surprised at how people jumped to the aid of others without prompting or thought.

So I probably should not be surprised that the media is already publishing stories trying to put blame for this incident on some one or some group. I am curious, why does the media assume that there is always incompetence or neglect behind these disasters? To assume that some one is always responsible also assumes that we are always perfect in our knowledge. That seems like unreasonably high standards to me.

Soulless Beast

No I am not talking about Karl Rowe...

Leesa did a post last week that reminded me of my disillusionment with American Business culture. I look at what many corporations are doing to their retirees, employees, customers and vendors and I get angry at the short sightedness and the lack of humanity demonstrated by folks like Wal-Mart, LTV, Wells Fargo and NorthWorst Airlines among others.

Business is supposed to be "people trading goods and services" The theory is that by the most efficient (and least inefficient) producers trading, then all will have more. A real win/win Fine and dandy and it usually works OK. Some where though many companies forgot the lesson and they are determined to squeeze everything they can from those they trade with. Not just a win/lose scenario but a "I want it all/I do not care about you" scenario.

Management say they are responsible to "the owners". Do I believe them? NO! The owners are you and me and millions of others like us who have funds tied up in IRA's, 401K's and other devices. Management does not answer to us. Management answers to themselves. How else would you explain an airline in bankruptcy paying bonuses to the management that put them there?

Are there good corporate citizens out there? You bet! Folks like TARGET, Rohm Haas et al are decent corporate citizens but the ones who have forgotten their humanity are frightening in their existence and depressing in their number.

Was Tom Peters totally off base?

Empty Nest?

We have been official Empty Nesters "1" for a few years now. We have become accustomed to the quiet and privacy.

Last week our youngest moved home. "Da Kid" just graduated in May and landed a good job here in the Twin Cities. She will be staying with us for a few months as she works out her housing plans. All great and good reasons to move home of course but it is taking some adjusting. Do not get me wrong, it is great having her home but you do get used to having it "your way". Also, lets admit it, the grocery bill just took a BIG jump and the "debris factor" has risen

On the humorous side? I think it bugs her even more *L*

Was it Ever About Character?

Minnesota Collegiate athletics was hit with another scandal yesterday when Dominic Jones was arrested for rape. Police have DNA and video evidence linking him to the crime.

We seem to see way too much of this in college and professional athletes. Is there something about being in the lime light that makes these people lose their perspective? Did they ever have perspective? Are teams so desperate for talent that they do not want to see the flaws?

Interestingly, one of the people who helped police put the pieces together was a former Gopher recruit that is currently incarcerated for a crime he committed before he was recruited. Of course the Gophers suspended him...DOH!

NASCAR Mentality?

I do quite a bit of work related driving. I am not sure if it is my advancing age or a true perception but it seems drivers are much more aggressive than they used to be.

Stupidly so at times.

Is it the effect of NASCAR on the collective psyche? Could it be that no one bothers to understand Newtons Laws?


I had a long drive home Friday night. It was made longer as a result of the Interstate being shut down in two places due to fatal car wrecks.

Scarey