Today we are celebrating our 25th anniversary. It seems like both yesterday and a lifetime ago. It was brutally cold (-20F). Wearing a Dress and heels in that weather is insane. Thermal underwear and parkas were not in the program though.
Last night we were both puzzling how our marriage has survived to now. We have watched many of our peers go thru divorces. We had many things going against us. Our eldest was already on the way, money was not plentiful, I was the major bread winner and our religious backgrounds were very different. If our first had not been on the way, I doubt we would have married.
We had no answer beyond we have both kept working at it. Is that the answer? I don't know, for now its enough
Next stop, 2032!
12 comments:
Congratulations! I think you've said it before. Marriage takes work. I will add that it is a labor of love. Not quite three years yet for me.
Wow, congratulations! A 25th anniv. is definitely cause for celebration.
Mal,
Congratulations. It's really the man that makes a marriage work. If a man can ignor a woman's emotional roller coaster thinking the marriage will survive.
My parents divorced after they had been married for 25 years because my mom stopped giving my dad daily sex, meals and back rubs. Keep that in mind.
congratulations!
If I can make my two-bit analysis from this and other posts:
You survived because you had no expectations of each other. This is not a bad thing. You were willing to take each other the way you both were. Acceptance is so important in a relationship.
One of my all-time favorite songs--certainly the best love song ever written, in my opinion--is Ani DiFranco's 'As Is.' I think taking your partner 'As Is' is the best way to have a long and happy relationship.
Here's a snipped of the lyrics:
just give up
and admit you're an asshole
you would be
in some good company
i think you'd find
that you friends would forgive you
or maybe i
am just speaking for me
cuz when i look around
i think this, this is good enough
and i try to laugh
at whatever life brings
cuz when i look down
i just miss all the good stuff
when i look up
i just trip over things
and i've got
no illusions about you
and guess what?
i never did
and when i say
when i say i'll take it
i mean,
i mean as is...
Happy Anniversary, Mal.
yeharr
Congratulations Mal! You picked a good day to get married on--I was celebrating my 25th birthday the day of your nupitals!
Happy Anniversary! Even in the short period of time since I've moved back to my hometown, several couples have divorced. Kinda scary actually. Congrats on beating the odds!
Clearly, you are still married because your husband knew when he had a good thing. Congratulations and good luck!
Congratulations Mal! I get so emotional when I hear of nice things like this. You are living proof of that good things do exist.
I actually believe that you can “make it work” for a lifetime with anyone – as long as both parties have that as a goal.
I’ll drink some champagne tonight at the piano bar and toast for the two of you!
Happy Anniversary! 25 years, huh? My marriage only lasted 12. 25 just boggles the mind.
I wish there were more couples out there like you. Any words of wisdom are much appreciated. If I could be half the mom and the wife that you are, my family will turn out just fine.
Happy 25th! I think you are right - marriage takes work, but I'm only in my 10th year, so what do I know?
I hope you had a great day and celebrated!
Congratulations and well done the two of you !!!
Its our 25th next year and as yet another of our friends are in the process of a divorce at the moment we got talking the other night on why we are still together.
The conclusion was that we are temprementally poles apart - she is volatile, I have never been known to lose my temper - ever. So when a row is threatening I walk away and let her row on her own, it annoys the hell out of her that I won't react to her temper tantrums :)
Also one of us will always give in to the others ideas, we've never found a subject that we didn't agree on eventually and sometimes you do have to give way to keep the peace - tolorance is what its all about.
And one last thing - last week I mentioned that I was planning another trip to Barbados for our 25th, she doesn't want to go, so theres £5000 saved and 18 months to figure out what else to spend it on :)
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